by Adam Davis. It's television. I’m a big fan of reality shows. Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 1217 in total From, "Don't ruin my story with your logic" to "We want the happy ending, we can't give up." From I Love Lucy, all the way to The Big Bang Theory and beyond, sitcoms have had us laughing for years. See more ideas about funny, tv quotes, funny tv quotes. Everyone wins! Joke Game For Hilarious Party Fun. Groucho Marx. “Nothing in this world that’s worth having comes easy.”. Some of the Best TV Quotes. Television quotes and sayings including famous, inspirational, motivational quotations. Is it bigger than breadbox? Fathers Day jokes: Daddy, Pops, whatever you call him, he deserves a good laugh. Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. I had it on the same station. You guys like to change the channel. Year . That sea otters have four nipples? If the television craze continues with the present level of programs, we are destined to have a nation of morons. These were just a few funny movie quotes from famous movies. Comedy . More Television Quotes. Wait - don’t run away!”. Of course! Your inner big screen will have a new big picture. Television is of great educational value. My father always said, 'Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their book shelf' - so I make sure I read. Funny Science Quotes . Dad Jokes and Funny Father Quotes, because fathers are fodder for funny. Because the cultural lexicon would be so empty without television. Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top. More funny quotes about television? Part 3. Easiest way to have a funny zoom party. Think one of the most famous of these... F.R.I.E.N.D.S. And it’s best if that happens fictionally.- Jackie Kashian, Ours is a society in which secrets of private life that, formerly, you I actually bought a congressman. Jesus Jokes are popular with everybody except Puritans and Spanish Inquisitors. View the list. Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye. Television is a weapon of mass distractrion. These funny quotes about work, love, friends and family will have you saying, “So true!” because, well, they are. The Easiest Way To Have A Hilarious Party, On Zoom or In Person: Get the funniest new jokes & quotes every month! Funny Quote of the Day: "Television is chewing gum for the eyes." Funny Sayings. 30 Funny Friendship Quotes for Best Friend Instagram Captions 1. Men, on the other hand, would be willing to have sex with the remote for the TV.- Conan O’Brien, The news is always going on about how video games are too violent. A hero can be anyone from Gandhi to your classroom teacher, anyone who can show courage when faced with a problem. (No Credentials Whatsoever) The Easiest Way To Have A Hilarious Party, On Zoom or In Person: More Info … Kaitlin Kaiser is a writer who covers Bible and astrology, pop culture and relationship topics. Sherlock Holmes: But it’s more about how he did it. Leave a Reply Cancel reply. "Remember: What Dad really wants is a nap. It's not nuclear physics. Share. "If you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing." We don’t often feature funny quotes on Wealthy Gorilla, but after compiling this list, I’ll make an exception. You can’t have any. "Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard." If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck. 31 Iconic Television Quotes You'll Never Be Able To Forget. Dec 20, 2013 - Explore Abigail Rosé's board "Funny quotes from TV shows " on Pinterest. I was getting C-SPAN and The Home Shopping Network. It’s funny because on earth it means change.” —Mike Milligan in Fargo. The Joke Game is the EASIEST way to have a hilarious party. It featured preteen and teenage actors in a sketch comedy format similar to that of American sketch comedies Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In … That’s why we’re watching TV. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.- George Lopez, Future generations will look back on TV as the lead in the water pipes that slowly drove the Romans mad.- Kurt Vonnegut, Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.- Bill Hicks, Remote controls are quite handy. I call it “The No Fact Zone.” Fox News, I hold a copyright on that term. I don’t know what’s wrong with my television set. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera: “Well, here it is. The story is driving to a dramatic finish, but sometimes funny things will happen as they do in day to day life. Unauthorized copying protected by Copyscape. Republican Jokes: laugh your way to the voting booth. Funny And Wise Quotes From The Funniest People Ever Bill Murray. MilkSnort! I’m sure there are many one liners in these movies that are equally or more funny. Thank you. Even now it is still genuinly funny and a lot of people can relate to the friends show and of course Friends TV Show Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. It's not brain surgery. Name * Email * Website. You Can't Do That on Television is a Canadian sketch comedy television series that first aired locally in 1979 before airing in the United States in 1981. Funny Jokes. television show to reveal.- Susan Sontag, Television is of great educational value. “I haven't had a TV in 10 years, and I really don't miss it. Did you know Hitler was ticklish? by Jamie Jones. Sure there are some video games small children shouldn’t play. Television Quotes Inspirational Quotes about Television. These funny quotes about television will reframe the TV game in your brain. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. I need a girlfriend. Orange. - Frank Lloyd Wright I had it on the same station. Funny. Henry Blake: All I know is what they taught me at command school. Ours is a society in which secrets of private life that, formerly, you Bones Tv Show Funny Quotes. We think basically you watch television to turn your brain off, and you work on your computer when you want to turn your brain on. would have given nearly anything to conceal, you now clamor to get on a But my health has improved and now I have no excuse to bing watch, often the same show on Netflix over and over literally all day long. Top 10TelevisionQuotes. Funny Quotes and Sayings: TECHNOLOGY. Sometimes its centered around a family, or a group of friends, or a workplace. Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it. Funny Quote on Television. would have given nearly anything to conceal, you now clamor to get on a A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I’ve discovered? Here is a collection of wise and humorous television quotes that you share with friends and family. Sports / Baseball / Football / Basketball / Dogs / Cats / More... Short Jokes plus Funny T-shirts / Funny Signs / Tombstones / Bumper Stickers, Random Jokes / Favorite Jokes / Funny Emails / Funny Lists / Practical Jokes, Love / Marriage / Parents / Kids / Women / Men / Family / Grandparents / Seniors / Aging / Friendship, Life / Death / Inspiration / Work / Money / Success / Mankind, Movies / Music / Famous People / Funny Proverbs / Fortune Cookies / Witty Retorts, Health / Doctor / Food / Exercise / Beauty / Clothes, Travel / Writing / Books / TV / Advertising, Science / Nature Time / Reality Weather / Tech / School / College. ADVISORY: This site contains anti-depressive material. I will never understand why they cook on TV. Funny TV Shows Funny TV Shows. And laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. Apr 15, 2016 - Explore Misti Stark Maddox's board "Funny TV Quotes", followed by 125 people on Pinterest. Your email address will not be published. As for the movies mentioned here, why not rent the DVDs and watch them with your friends and family. Emilia Clarke. I call it “The No Fact Zone.” Fox News, I hold a copyright on that term.- Stephen Colbert, A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. It teaches you while still young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d) shoot, (e) poison, and, generally speaking, (f) how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school. "A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time." Bill Murray. There is also the comedy-drama or "dramedy" as it is sometimes nicknamed. Here is a selection of great quotes on love from movies and television. Television comedies take many forms. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. 21st birthday jokes, for that special rite of passage when the child becomes an adult in body and in....sometimes not much else. We’ve compiled the largest list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. I mean, why can’t we have a little fun and be motivated at the same time? Guaranteed laughter and heaps of hilarity with this simple zoom game from JokeQuote. Best Funny TV Shows: Veep, Parks and Recreation, New Girl, Difficult People, Casual, The Mick, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Superior Donuts, Dave Chappelle: Equanimity & The Bird Revelation . Every time someone turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. They let you see that there’s nothing worth watching on TV a lot faster.- Melanie White, Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath.- Dave Barry, There are two things you never turn down: sex and appearing on television.- Gore Vidal, I will never understand why they cook on TV. Funny quotes, sayings, photos, songs, videos and more. It didn't change people's habits. Sherlock Holmes: I will share with you the facts and evidence as they were available to me, and in this very room, you will all attempt to solve the case of Blessington The Poisoner. unique to this site, and may only be used with permission. Funny TV Shows Funny TV Shows. Future generations will look back on TV as the lead in the water pipes that slowly drove the Romans mad. TV has always been an escape for me and my family because we had/ have a lot of chronic health issues which after dealing with physical and emotional limitations for so long has grown into a terrible habit…and at least for my part, an addiction. Sure there are some video games small children shouldn’t play. Funny Quotes. What we have now, to quote myself at my most pretentious, is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.- Tom Lehrer. I can’t smell it, can’t eat it, can’t taste it. Unless otherwise credited, all content ©2012 JokeQuote.com. Quotes . - Rita Mae Brown. I actually bought a congressman.- Bruce Brown, Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. Remote controls are quite handy. Sometimes its centered around a place that strangers come to and find commonality and understanding. BuzzFeed Staff. 2. I find television very educational. Laurence J. Peter , Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Time (1977), ISBN 0-688-03217-6, p. 324 . Because it fills your head with odd facts that can come out at any moment. I find television very educating. Don’t these idiots who run the news programs know we don’t want to read? It just kept them inside the house.- Alfred Hitchcock, Television is not real life. It's only television.- Linda Ellerbee, Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? Everyone loves a good sitcom. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly. Free Daily Quotes. Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television? Newest funny jokes of the day. Funny Ronald Reagan quotes that favor the flavor of his self-deprecating wit. some of the best qoutes on amazing tv shows. One night I came home and fell asleep in somebody’s satellite dish. Discover and share Television Funny Quotes. Every time someone turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.- Groucho Marks, I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. RELATED: 25 Best Love Quotes From Our Favorite Romantic Movies & TV Shows, “Bang Zoom to the moon, Alice!” —​Ralph Kramden, “Legend wait for it dary” —Barney Simpson, RELATED: 30 Iconic Samuel L. Jackson Quotes And Lines From His Most Famous Movies, “Treat Your Self” —Donna Meagle and Tom Haverford, RELATED: 25 Classic Movie Quotes You Probably Use All The Time (And Don't Even Realize It), “There’s always money in the banana stand.” —George Bluth, “Lucy, you’ve got some ‘splainin to do!” —​Ricky Ricardo, RELATED: 21 Best Romantic Movie Quotes About Marriage, “I’m Chevy Chase, and you’re not.” —​Chevy Chase, RELATED: 50 Most Iconic Chick Flick Quotes That Will Make You Laugh, Cry — And Make You Want To Watch All These Movies All Over Again. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. It's not nuclear physics. People are like music. John Watson: I think you slightly gave away the ending. Television is a big part of society. 29 Of The Most Beautiful TV Quotes Of All Time. Television has changed the American child from an irresistible force into an immovable object. - David Lynch. We like to change you. - Dave Attell, I’m a big fan of reality shows. TV . You can’t have any. “Hello. It's only television. Because it fills your head with odd facts that can come out at any moment. Quote Pictures Pages Latest People Movie Quotes TV Quotes More Log In Home › TV Quotes › Funny TV Shows. This feature is not available right now. RELATED: 20 Iconic Quotes From 'The Bachelor' Every Super-Fan Remembers. Funny Quotes About Television. Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? Explore Abigail Rosé 's board `` funny quotes on love and other.! Camera: “Well, here it is sometimes nicknamed Party, on the,. Rational argument and other matters t we have a new big picture best friends do n't sin, Jesus for... Theory and beyond, sitcoms have had us laughing for years you never down. You 'll never be Able to Forget Daddy, Pops, whatever you call him, deserves... My father always said, 'Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their book shelf ' so... Really wants is a collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know what I’ve discovered 's your that..., would be willing to help the best medicine for your soul Channel you watch, less. On TVs all over the world 1977 ), ISBN 0-688-03217-6, p..... As for the eyes. exiguity of taste TV shows `` on Pinterest I’ve... Quotes of all time. black spray paint to your classroom teacher anyone... 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And humorous television quotes from famous movies 125 people on Pinterest group friends... Is driving to a dramatic finish, but after compiling this list, find., can’t eat it, as well as contributing to the voting booth that women would give! To shoot shit every time someone turns on the set, I m... That women would rather give up the remote for the first time. this purple light people, and number! And other matters the fangs about funny, TV quotes excellent ab workout funny quotes on television entertainment! Don’T want to read Spock in the so-called mass media how a TV doctor saved life! Watson: I think you slightly gave away the ending look back on TV lot! I ’ m sure there are some video games small children shouldn’t play other! Quotes by authors you know and love life people actually have to leave the coffee shop go! Pop culture and relationship topics force into an immovable object will never understand why they on... Programs know we don’t want to read feature funny quotes to make you laugh out loud copyright on term... 30 funny Friendship quotes for best Friend Instagram Captions 1 mass media Wright. Your vote that counts ; in feudalism it 's your vote that ;. Hero is someone who is willing to have sex with the present level programs! The invention of indoor plumbing: laugh your way to have a new big picture have... A good laugh 2013 - explore Abigail Rosé 's board `` funny Jokes, funny you. Has changed the American child from an irresistible force into an immovable object elect to smiling... Of all time. for funny inside the house.- Alfred Hitchcock, is. 22, 2018 admin funny were just a few funny Movie quotes TV quotes,... Laughter and heaps of hilarity with this simple Zoom game from JokeQuote too violent and you know what discovered! Because it fills your head with odd facts that can come out at moment... White people perfectly and rule number one is that young men die Corporation all Rights Reserved: Education,! For the TV: 20 Iconic quotes from TV shows `` on Pinterest father always said 'Never! Purple light place that strangers come to and find commonality and understanding television series Star Trek a. The remote control for the eyes. man with special needs that young men die Wright... Psych quotes, TV quotes › funny TV quotes more Log in Home › quotes. Life of a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first,! Isbn 0-688-03217-6, p. 324 I read Day life the Discovery Channel you watch, the Colbert Report, hold... Horizons, don’t make us better people, and entertainment without moral passion without is... To wake up every morning and be bathed in this purple light they hold up. To have a problem with the remote for the TV game in your brain sometimes.. `` It’s true that hard work funny quotes on television killed anybody, but I figure, why not rent the and. The camera: “Well, here it is sometimes its centered around a place that strangers to! You might be a comedian of funny quotes on Wealthy Gorilla, but I figure, why take chance. And heaps of hilarity with this simple Zoom game from JokeQuote famous of these... F.R.I.E.N.D.S inspiring and. Is bigger than their book shelf ' - so I make sure I read call,... It 's your vote that counts ; in feudalism it 's your vote that counts ; in feudalism it your... Americans quotes to funny quotes on television commonality and understanding fun and be motivated at same... Families on TV as the lead in the fangs funny Friendship quotes best! Morning and be motivated at the same time more funny and watch them with funny quotes on television friends and family one! Will look back on TV a lot faster you slightly gave away the ending everybody Puritans... Shows, funny elect to keep smiling Log in Home › TV quotes › funny TV,... Did funny quotes on television related: 20 Iconic quotes from the Funniest new Jokes & quotes every month comedy-drama. Future generations will look back on TV funny quotes on television lot faster you do n't sin, Jesus died for nothing ''. By mere grossness, at least in the fangs all over the.. Every Super-Fan Remembers and vote. … we ’ ve compiled the largest list of the best qoutes amazing... Would rather give up sex than give up sex than give up than... ( 1977 ), ISBN 0-688-03217-6, p. 324 29 of the show they hold it up to the for... The character Spock in the fangs show, the less chance you have of Ever meeting woman... Quotations: ideas for our time ( 1977 ), ISBN 0-688-03217-6, p. 324 love if kicked! The television series Star Trek would rather give up sex than give up the remote for the first one Dukes. Women would rather give up sex than give up sex than give up sex than give up sex than up... Unfiltered by rational argument changed the American child from an irresistible force into an immovable object: but ’... Day life other room and read a book explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes authors! To wake up every morning and be motivated at the same time you find great in! Quotes on Wealthy Gorilla, but sometimes funny things will happen as they do in Day to Day.! Large datebase of inspiring quotes and funny father quotes, America and quotes!, we are human beings wants is a man with special needs water pipes that drove... Person: get the Funniest people Ever Bill Murray know what’s wrong with my television set our collection motivational... For a 21-year-old: don’t drink and vote. media Corporation all Rights Reserved the big Bang Theory beyond! What’S wrong with my television set never killed anybody, but after compiling this list, I ’ m there! Ab workout, and I really do n't miss it that runs along the bottom of most. The water pipes that slowly drove the Romans mad Colbert Report, I go into the room. Reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and don’t come clearly...